Playing the Fear Through: How This Therapy Technique Can Help You Make Difficult Decisions with Confidence

Making big decisions can feel paralyzing. Whether it’s leaving a relationship, changing careers, or setting boundaries, fear often keeps us stuck. What if I regret it? What if I fail? What if this is the wrong choice?

This is where the therapy intervention of playing the fear through comes in. Instead of letting fear hold you back, this technique helps you walk through the worst-case scenario, challenge its power, and take action with more confidence.

---

What Is “Playing the Fear Through”?

“Playing the fear through” is a cognitive-behavioral strategy used in therapy to help people confront their biggest worries rather than avoid them. Instead of stopping at What if something bad happens?, you keep going:

    •    What exactly am I afraid of?

    •    If that happens, what would I do next?

    •    Would I survive it? How would I cope?

By imagining the fear all the way to its conclusion, you strip it of its power and realize that—even in the worst case—you can handle it.

Why Fear Keeps You Stuck in Indecision

Fear thrives in uncertainty. When you’re faced with a tough choice, your brain searches for guarantees—a way to know, with 100% certainty, that everything will work out perfectly. But since no decision in life comes with absolute certainty, this leads to overthinking, procrastination, and avoidance.

The result? You stay stuck, waiting for clarity that never comes.

Playing the fear through helps break this cycle. It forces you to face the uncertainty head-on and realize that—even if things don’t go perfectly—you will figure it out.

How to Play the Fear Through in 3 Steps

Step 1: Name the Fear Clearly

Instead of letting your anxiety swirl in vague what-ifs, spell it out:

    •    I’m afraid that if I leave my job, I won’t find another one and I’ll fail.

    •    I’m scared that if I break up with my partner, I’ll regret it and be alone forever.

Getting specific helps you see what you’re really afraid of.

Step 2: Follow the Fear to Its Worst-Case Scenario

Ask yourself: If this fear came true, then what? Keep going until you reach the logical conclusion.

    •    Okay, so if I don’t find another job immediately, then what? I might struggle financially for a while, but I could apply for unemployment, cut back on expenses, or take a temporary job.

    •    If I regret breaking up with my partner, then what? I’d be sad. I’d grieve. But I’d also learn more about what I need in a relationship, and I’d move forward.

Most of the time, even the “worst-case scenario” is something you can recover from.

Step 3: Plan for How You’d Handle It

Once you’ve identified the worst-case scenario, ask: What would I do if that happened?

    •    If I left my job and didn’t find one right away, I could reach out to connections, update my resume, and take side gigs while I look.

    •    If I ended a relationship and felt lonely, I could lean on friends, start therapy, and take time to rediscover myself.

By creating a plan, you shift from feeling powerless to feeling prepared.

How This Builds Confidence and Helps You Take Action

Confidence isn’t something you wait for—it’s something you build through action. When you play the fear through, you stop seeing uncertainty as something to avoid and start seeing it as something you can navigate.

Instead of staying stuck in indecision, you develop the belief that no matter what happens, you will handle it. And that’s where true confidence comes from—not from knowing everything will go perfectly, but from trusting yourself to figure things out as you go.

So the next time fear keeps you from making a decision, don’t stop at What if it goes wrong? Keep going. Play the fear through. And then remind yourself—you are far more capable than your fear wants you to believe.

Final Thoughts

Making big decisions is never easy, but fear doesn’t have to keep you stuck. By playing the fear through, you can take action despite uncertainty, knowing that whatever happens, you will find a way through it.

Have you ever used this technique? What’s a time you faced a fear and realized it wasn’t as bad as you thought? Drop a comment and share your experience!